If I were told that I had to evacuate my home within minutes I would not know what to do. I have never been in this desperate of a situation. However, if I were in Sundara’s position and I knew that evacuation would be a possibility I think I would have been somewhat mentally prepared for the worst to happen. Regardless of whether I was forewarned that an evacuation might take place I do not think that I could be as brave or calm as Sundara was in the situation. In all likelihood, I think I would probably have had a reaction similar to Soka’s.
Even though Sundara cannot speak English as well as most of her peers, she was able to bring out a sense of emotion that is important when it comes to writing poetry. Furthermore, Sundara’s poem was genuine and spoke about a topic that was serious and mysterious at the same time. Sundara also has an undeniable way with words, a talent that allowed her to bring out her emotions on paper even with her limited vocabulary.
Beauty means different things to different cultures. There is a reason why people say, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Sundara does not yet know it, or rather she is unwilling to admit it to herself at this point in the novel, but it seems as though she has already become somewhat assimilated into Western culture. Sundara has become prey to the belief of most other girls in her school and has become brainwashed into accepting him as physically attractive.
If one of my peers told me about his or her experiences during a horrible event like the bombing in Cambodia, I do not think I would know how to really respond. Evidently, I am not as empathetic and confident as Jonathan because I do not feel as though I could even begin to imagine the horrors that Sundara must have faced and would definitely not be able to carry on a comfortable conversation. Although I would feel nervous, I would be interested to hear what Sundara and would try to be a patient listener.
The fact that Sundara does not understand the teasing from Jonathan’s friends indicates that she has not quite fully assimilated into American culture. It serves as further indication that even though Sundara has lived in the United States for four years now, she has not had the time to really become American due to the difficult times that she was faced with just to survive. This is vastly different from the “Americanized” Ravy who was probably too young to remember the horrors of the forced, sudden immigration as vividly as Sundara. Also, the fact that Ravy is a boy shows readers that the paternalistic nature of Asian culture has allowed Ravy more freedom to become a true American.
Chapters 6-10
Sundara wants to be younger because she feels as if though she would not have to suffer through the pains because younger kids tend to forget their lives more easily. However, I do not think that forgetting about a part of my life would lessen the pain I have to go through. Even if I forget my childhood, the unconscious side will always remember the pain of leaving my own country, leaving my own parents to go live in a totally strange country. I think learning to embrace those pains would be much healthier.
Cambodian culture is very conservative. They have a tendency to prefer a son and I believe that Soka get this from the cultural background. Korea, and Japan are common examples of a very conservative culture.
Although my parents mean the world to me, as they raised me to be the person I am, I am not willing to sacrifice my happiness just for their satisfaction. I will have more in the future living with my husband and I am not ready to live a life with someone that I do not love just for my parents' satisfaction. My parents have always told me that my happiness is the most important thing. Race of wealthiness should not affect whether someone can get married to someone or not.
Chapters 11-15
How does Sundara feel about American culture/customs? Is she accepting towards it or is she resisting against it? Sundara feels that American culture is very different from Cambodian and it's sometimes hard to understand those customs. At times, she even wishes that the Americans would understand her customs such as a girl not being able to be with a boy alone, strict rules such as bowing to the elderly, and more. She's not really accepting or resisting, but a little bit of both. Sundara accepts the culture by going against Cambodian rule of being with a boy, Jonathan McKinnon, but also resists by bringing up Cambodian culture all the time during conversations and in her mind.
How would you have comforted Sundara when she talked about the brutal actions in Cambodia? Unlike Jonathan McKinnon, I would have listened to what she had to say to the end and try to comfort her the best way possible such as telling her the positives into moving to America and that she is safe now which is what matters. How Jonathan handled the situation was not professional in which he kept telling Sundara to stop talking, making the situation awkward.
Would you have taken the same risks as Sundara did for Jonathan, despite the consequences she might get? For example, going to the hospital when she should have been at the grocery store. There are two sides: Yes, because it's for the person she likes personally and shows just how much she loves him. It also shows how Sundara is taking risks to go towards what she believes in which would be very difficult in Cambodia, trying to break out of the shell. No, because there are severe consequences like getting caught by Soka which would result in not being able to meet Jonathan, getting married to a Khmer boy, and more. Also, if Sundara was caught by Pok Sim, then the wife of Pok Sari would tattle-tale to Soka, trying to shame their family which would be a disgrace.
Chapters 16-21
Girls tend to be very insecure with their relationships in high school, especially when there are other females near their boyfriends. If my boyfriend were to drastically change in personality and action after meeting another girl, I would be very worried. Jonathan started to party less and quit football, even though he was the quarterback. If my boyfriend were to suddenly quit his past hobbies and act like a completely different person because of another girl, I would be very jealous and concerned about our relationship. I would think that my relationship with my boyfriend was deteriorating.
Being a catalyst for change is always difficult. If the school’s most popular guy and quarterback did an 180 degree turn, and I was the cause for it, I would feel very flattered. At the same time, I would be worried for the reaction the change would bring at school. Sundara was blamed by the football coaches and Cathy for the seemingly “bad” change in Jonathan. Sundara is a strong character deeply embedded with Cambodian moral codes that stress hard work and peace rather than conflict. If I were Sundara, I would see that Jonathan had changed for the better and support Jonathan’s new life decisions wholeheartedly. This would apply even if it meant possible bullying at school.
Sundara suffered from a breakdown shortly after a heated argument with her aunt. Sundara’s aunt viewed Sundara as a responsibility, and highly disproved of Sundara’s relationship with Jonathan. After Sundara was harshly reprimanded by her Aunt Soka, Sundara and her friend Moni go to dump out their trash. There, Sundara sees the arm of a plastic baby doll sticking out amidst the trash. This reminds Sundara of the tiny arm of her baby cousin( Aunt Soka’s daughter) who died on the passage from Cambodia to America. I think the combination of stress and visual reminder caused Sundara’s recollection of her diseased baby cousin. The death of her baby cousin impacts Sundara’s life in America greatly. Aunt Soka blames Sundara for the death of her baby, and does not show Sundara any love. As a result, Sundara works and studies very hard to get her aunt’s approval, as well as pay her back for the guilt of her cousin’s death.
Soka confronts rather than comply to Pok Sary’s wife’s rudeness. This scene in the book occurs after Soka and Sundara attain closure on the issue of the death of Soka’s daughter. After this occurs, Soka becomes more open and accepting to new things, especially old Cambodian customs. Previously, Soka had kept her head down near Pok Sary’s wife, who in Cambodia, was of a higher rank than she was. This time, Soka exerts her right to visit the new Khmer immigrant who happens to be of a higher rank because of Soka’s greater experience of living in America. Soka disregards Cambodian hierarchy as something that determines one’s worthiness to do something, but rather starts to value one’s experiences instead.